I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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