i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
