i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
