You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
