I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
