Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
