U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
do herpes really smell.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
