Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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