Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
