Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's never too late to be topless.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
