the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You are a genius and a whore.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
