you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
