the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
