i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You're earring is so big in my mouth
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
