I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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