she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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