i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We have started to decorate penises.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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