He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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