Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
