Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
