just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
