I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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