You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
