end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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