It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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