i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
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Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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