would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
