are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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