i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
