The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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