he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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