And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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