just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
