K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
