You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
