Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She's the barista slut.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
