My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
