I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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