I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i've created a new STD.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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