Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize