if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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