if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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