So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
