Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
