So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
