maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We left the knife in your bed.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
