Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I am spending my child support on dildos
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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