I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
