okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
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Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
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No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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