You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
