Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
