is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
