my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
