Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
