dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
