Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
