O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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