pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
