Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
