It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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