The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
