I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
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You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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