ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
