im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
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