look no pants
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
