You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
