There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
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Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Text me some of your sweat
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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