dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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